Rule Against Polygamy, Protecting Which Women?

 

It is quite shocking for Moslem society when Indonesian Government is now busy working on the possible regulation against polygamy; at the time when it should have been more concerned on the immorality of a DPR sexual scandal.

 

The lack of comment on the sexual scandal is enough to make people doubting the moral integrity of this government. A DPR member, a political leader in charge of religious section, who is paid by the government using the people’s money, has betrayed us all: the government and the people. And yet, the president, vice president, DPR chairman, says nothing.

 

On the other hand, the government reaction towards Aa Gym’s act of polygamy is undoubtedly beyond reason. First of all, polygamy violates no rules. It is even permitted by the Islamic faith, as a solution and with tight pre-conditions. Aa Gym harms no one, and gets married again on his own money. He corrupts nothing.

 

The issue of polygamy is now being raised again to cover the issue of the sexual scandal involving an act of abortion. Even Minister of Women Empowerment is busy campaigning for the need to regulate (private!) marriage, with a slogan like “protecting women”. Which women that she and this whole government are protecting? The most reasonable answer to this question is: they are protecting first wives. They must not be protecting the other women, because for the other women, being married as the second is better than just being used and hidden from public eyes.

 

I haven’t met another woman who would refuse to be married by a man with whom she has an intimate relationship. Except for ME, who stated that she refused to be married as the second wife. She hoped for the first position, but the fact is, she had no position at all. She preferred to be used and hidden in no position than to be married as the second wife. A woman like her is rare. To be married is to feel secure, socially, and psychologically. She denied that.

 

So, the would-be regulation on polygamy is undoubtedly protecting first wives. But, are they truly protected? The wife of YZ, for instance, preferred her husband to play around behind her back than to let him marry the other woman as his second wife. Is this the kind of women the supposed-regulation going to protect? For my womanhood concerns: this is a selfish-egoistic-kind of women, who smiles seeing the destructions of other women. Our government is going to protect them, not the women who are being treated unfairly and irresponsibly by play-boy husbands. The elites always get more protection in this country.

 

Politically Incorrect

 

If the government seriously proposes regulation on private marriages and tries to forbid polygamy, it ignites unnecessary clash with Islam. It is written in the Qoran that men are allowed to marry more than one wife. It is not a recommendation. Only at certain conditions, it is lawful to be done. It is a right, more a solution, not at all an obligation. Why such moderate and harmless regulation of Islam is being attacked so fiercely? What is the political agenda of this?

 

If the government launches a regulation that may/can forbid government officials and DPR members (those who earns from government) from committing adultery –and imposes strict sanctions to it (such as recalling or firing), this would be politically more correct. All faiths, not only Islam, will support this regulation. In shorts, while the government can launch a regulation that will certainly be supported by all faiths, why it insists on regulating polygamy, which is harmless to Islam?

 

Hikmah

 

While the portraits of ME and YZ are now laid at the bottom of human dignity, we witness the smooth overcome of Aa Gym polygamy problem. The couple did not need to state in public that they still love each other. During their press conference, the body languages, the gestures, the way they look at each other, showed it all. It isn’t hard to believe that they are in love again, that they are in new pace of life.

 

In Islam, when the wife is ikhlas, the husband loves her more, and treats her better. It shows in the aura of teh Nini that she has already got the hikmah that she mentioned. “If you are ikhlas, Allah will help you and there will be hikmah behind all this seemingly painful experience.” Yet, as an honest human being, an ordinary woman, Nini admited that it was not easy. It was hard to reach this level of ikhlas. For them, it needed three months (Aa Gym is open to public after 3 months of his second marriage).

 

Reflecting on these two examples of marriage-hood, we need to urge our government to act right away on YZ scandal, by firing/recalling him from his position at DPR. We may agree or disagree with Aa Gym’s act, but we need to remember, he harms no one, he violates no rule. Teh Nini is not a victim, she doesn’t make herself be. ME, who sets herself as victim (with the advice of her lawyer), is neither a victim. She is one of the scandalous actors.

 

Sirikit Syah 2006-2007

An Active Woman

(to differ it with a Woman Activist)